Thursday, June 23, 2011


Someone challenged me on the use of the phrase "mean-girled." Of course, everyone knows this is a colloquialism and probably hasn't been added to the formal lexicon, so to define it I had to refer to the good ol' Urban Dictionary (the dictionary of the masses, if you will). Here's what it says (bolded for emphasis):

Girls who are bullies and use "girl aggression" (nasty comments, trickery, deceit, excluding people from events, spreading rumors, stealing boyfriends,etc.) to manipulate other girls. They will use text messaging, AIM, email, three-way-calling, and any other weapon at their disposal to achieve these goals
(coined by Rosalind Wiseman in her book "Queen Bees and Wannabees").
These girls are often popular because everyone is either afraid of them or wants to be like them. They tend to have armies of followers ("friends"/wannabees) comprising their clique. However, few people actually like them for who they are.

So there it is. It's hardly a surprise that this is not a new phenomenon (well, except for the technological bullying part - that's new) but what *is* surprising is that it can still happen among women in the grown-up world, and in professional environments, no less. Well, maybe not the stealing boyfriends part, but just about everything else is something I have seen in at least *two* of my workplaces, both Christian and non-Christian.

Sad, sad. But then again, only those who truly know Jesus have the capacity to love their neighbours and be better than this, n'est-ce pas? Without Him and His Spirit to show us how to love and treat others, I suppose we're all mean girls at heart. But by His grace and His empowering, we can rise above this sort of despicable behaviour and become encouragers and defenders of the weak and the bullied, a mandate Jesus Himself lived out in His ministry. In the end, how one chooses to conduct themselves is one part God, and one part choice. What kind of girl do you want to be?


~Rain``` said...

I've always said, I rather teach a room full of challenging boys than challenging girls. Sad.

I've been contemplating this in reference to my daughter. I pray that she will be kind, gracious, and merciful as a woman. In the meanwhile, I pray that I will train her up to be that woman NOW, with God's wisdom and strength.