Sunday, October 26, 2008

Black List ABC's


I'm feeling particularly vitriolic tonight, which means it is a great time to post a black list.  To protect the guilty, this list will exclude any people that rightfully belong there, save for politicians and/or celebrities already in the public eye; instead, I will focus the bulk of my hate on annoyances and peeves of the non-human variety.


Alfalfa sprouts on perfectly delicious sandwiches
Bugs, especially of the bedbug variety
Crowds, especially those of slow-walkers who don't realize that they're in the way
Dogs that bark late at night and wake me up - stupid owners next door!
Episodes on TV that are "To be continued"
Fuzzies left on carpets and the floor from black sports socks
Gum that gets all rubbery or loses flavour in mere minutes
Headlights that shine way too bright and blind me at night
Ignorance in all of its forms
Juice that is warm - it's just not right
Kids that are allowed to run around and make tons of noise by their irresponsible parents
Laundry - it is never-ending
Meat-headed, juiced-up bodybuilders at my gym who grunt (proof of devolution?)
Neckaches that turn into brutal pounding headaches
Odors that are foul or that result from cooking on a Foreman Grill in an apartment
Palin, Sarah
Questions of a personal nature (e.g. baby-making) posed by nosy people
Rodents of all varieties
Sori (those nasty bumps on the back of fern leaves....ewww!)
Trash, particularly cigarette butts, littered in otherwise beautiful and pristine outdoor areas
Ugly feet and hammer toes/thumbs
Vehicles parked in MY spot, especially at work
Wet towels on the bed, on the floor, or on the counter
X-mas : It is spelled CHRISTMAS, and it isn't pronounced "cross-mas." It makes no sense. 
Yellow clothing that makes me even more yellow. 
Zits in unfortunate places 


3 comments:

Matt Campbell said...

Not to take any wind out of your sails, as I agree with many of your peeves; but this one is in turn a peeve of mine which I inherited from my late mother:

The abbreviation "X-mas" does not "take the Christ out of Christmas" as many people bemoan, and is significantly older than most people think, tracing its roots almost as far back as the early Greek church. "X" was actually once a common abbreviation for the word "Christ," thanks to how the word is spelled in the Greek alphabet. In fact, the Cross of Constantine strongly resembles an X and a P superimposed upon each other for the exact same reason; Chi ~= X, Rho ~= P.

See also http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Xmas

Mrs. Loquacious said...

Thanks Matt, for the information. I think I am more peeved with it because it is a lazy way to write the full word, just like "ppl" or "cuz" are bastardized shortcuts of the original word. Being an English teacher, I have little tolerance for the so-called evolution of language when in reality it is an erosion of language (like simplified Chinese...characters are way uglier and far less meaningful than their predecessor characters).

But at least I'm glad to know that the X-mas spelling isn't meant to remove Christ from the equation. I still get irked though, when I see the word. Maybe it's just that the letter X and I don't get along? ;)

tejanamama said...

I don't think its evolution...JUST a short cut. I use all of the ones mentioned! NOT in the classroom or in student correspondence, but in my emails and such. I must have pissed you off royally a few times as I use those often in casual emails!

BUT I also love alphala sprouts! LMFAO. ESPECIALLY on my Jimmy John's turkey tom samich. YUMMALICIOUSNESS! :) Had it today WITHOUT the sprouts cuz its a no no when pregnant. STupid rules.