Monday, June 09, 2008

Douche-bag is Spelled M-C-C-A-I-N?

Two things: 1) I'm not really into American politics. As a proud Canadian, I'm pretty happy with how the true north strong and free handles our politics, and I sort of let my neighbours south of the border get all worked up about Reps vs. Crats. 2) I don't usually believe everything I read online. Every type of reporting is biased to some extent, and it is best to take most reports with a grain of salt.

That said, if this report written by the Daily Mail in the U.K. is true, then John McCain is a top-notch douche-bag who deserves to have his gonads ripped off his body by giant razor-fanged lizards.

According to the article, before he married drop-dead-gorgeous Cindy McCain, this presidential hopeful(ly not!) was married to a lovely beauty queen named Carol Shepp, whose two kids from a previous relationship were adopted by McCain. The two of them also had one child together. Anyway, the saintly first wife had apparently stuck by her man through his years as a POW, even refusing to worry him during his imprisonment by telling him the news of her horrible car accident (which left her 5 inches shorter, scarred, and with limited mobility). When he was finally released, he was reportedly shocked by Carol's changed appearance, slight weight gain, and shorter stature. According to the article, his repulsion with his wife's new look and his mid-life crisis caused him to become a philandering pig. Just a month after divorcing Carol, McCain got married to Cindy, the much younger, beautiful daughter of a wealth and well-connected man.

If this story is true (and my gut feeling is that it mostly is), then John McCain is not only unworthy of the presidency, but he is frankly unworthy to lick the scum off from underneath the dirtiest toilet seat in America. Anyone who wishes to lead his/her country should endeavor to live a life of honor, integrity, faithfulness, and humility, be it a Republican or a Democrat. Questionable behaviour, even in choices made decades earlier, are sufficient reason to cast doubt on this person's ability to lead the country responsibly, selflessly, and with morality. After all, if it is true that these events occurred when McCain was 40 years old, then he was a fully-formed, experienced adult making a conscious choice even then; I find no reason to believe that the fibre of his true nature has changed all that much in the 40 years that have followed.

The fate of the U.S. lies in the hands of my American brothers and sisters. I should hope that as this election unfolds, each and every U.S. voter will arm themselves with sufficient information to make an educated, informed decision that is best for their nation. Certainly Barack Obama's character will also be called into question during this campaign (though I'm pretty sure he is still with his one and only wife, and does not have illegitimate children littered across the country or disfigured ex-wives that he has abandoned in his quest for the presidency), and it will be the responsibility of the voter to weed out the lies from the facts.

That said, I know who I'd be voting for if I could vote, and it's not for a douche-bag.


tejanamama said...

lol. STAY OUT OUR BITness canadiana! ;) LOL Seriously, they are mostly douchebags...esp. the republicans! KNOW THIS! It will be fun unpeeling the layers and getting to know the dirt (real, imagined, and completely manufactured) on the candidates! NOT!!!!

Natalie said...

Douche-bag is not bad enough for McCain, he is a full fledged douche-nozzle.