Thursday, August 09, 2007

Not Feeling It

At this present moment, I am unemployed. The unfortunate nature of the profession dictates that most new (or temporary contract) teachers get hired and assigned last, sometimes even into the school year (like mid-September, or mid-October). I currently have the unenviable position of being a "new" teacher, in spite of my previous years of experience in the classroom overseas.

Bottom line is, I have no job, and no particular indication as to when I might actually secure a job in my field. I think I should be worried, or anxious, or something. I get a lot of reassuring comments from people around me who presume that I am sick with anxiety over my unemployed status, and they offer up comforting words like, "You're a good teacher, I know you will get something good.
Don't worry, you'll find something soon."

The problem is, I'm not worried at all. AT ALL. Should I be?

guess I don't operate on the same levels of anxiety and concern that most people in the world do. Part of this comes from the fact that I am not a starving, debt-ridden person; my Hubbs works hard to make sure that he can support both of us on his income. The other, greater part comes from my faith. I guess I am not fearful because I believe whole-heartedly that I was called into the teaching profession (think Jonah, after the big fish event). If this is what I am supposed to do, and a divine Creator has called me to the task, I have no doubt that He will provide the opportunity for me to do what I am intended to do. So why should I be afraid? Why should I be concerned?

Sure, there are the normal stresses that cross my mind: "What if I don't have enough time to plan my units and lessons and set up my room before the first day of class? What if I have to establish routines with my students two months into the school year? Will that be too late?" However, even these thoughts do not raise my blood pressure or speed up my pulse, because that same faith tells me that I will not be doing anything by my own strength and wisdom alone, but the One who has put me in a place to teach will equip me with whatever I need to do the best job that I can.

Some lyrics from an older praise-and-worship song that has been running in my head have been the following:

Fear not, for I am with you
Fear not, for I am with you
Fear not, for I am with you

Says the Lord.

I have redeemed you, I have called you by name
Child, you are Mine.

When you walk through the waters, I will be there.

And through the flame,

You'll not be drowned,

You'll not be burned,

For I am with you.

So I'm not feeling it - the fear, the worry. But I will keep you posted for when the good news comes, which it surely will. :)


Natalie said...

I'm sure you'll get something great. It's the whole thing of being a new teacher and it happens to everyone. Then again, it seems you know that and are handling it quite well.