Monday, December 11, 2006

Meaningless, Meaningless, Everything is Meaningless

I seem to have developed a small case of apathy, at least where school is concerned. I'm not feeling particularly moved to study, and am at that point where I just want it all to be over with.

My brother-in-law apparently used to tell my in-laws that he didn't care about his grades too much..."D for done!," he'd say. I'm starting to see his point, although I think I'm more partial to, "C for complete!"

In my previous 19 years of school (yes, it really has been that many, if you include kindergarten), I've never been much of an underachiever. I have always studied hard, poured hours over my work, actually read my textbooks (contrary to some who didn't bother creasing the spines, so that they could get better resale value out of their books), taken notes, and reviewed like a madwoman. As a result, I've often done relatively well in school, although for the most part my achievement hasn't ever been sufficient enough to garner me thousands of dollars in scholarship money.

So why do I push myself so much? At the end of the day, I am pretty sure that I will end up with the same parchment as the student who passed their Ed degree with a paltry 2.2 GPA. And that person will probably have just as much of a chance as I do to score a teaching job, plus they will have had extra time to enjoy their student life, since they won't have been studying for days on end. In essence, then, all of this cramming and studying and memorizing and synthesizing is actually quite meaningless. Besides, in my current courses, I've technically already passed.

I wish profs would lay off the exams and just give us a bunch of assignments and authentic assessment tasks instead. At least then I would feel a little more motivated; this studying is sapping the drive right out of me.

Much as my apathy is setting in, however, it's pretty hard to teach this old dog a new perspective and new tricks. I know studying, it's a familiar activity to me, so even though it's a meaningless and dissatisfying venture, I will continue doggedly to do it. So excuse me while I go back to my studying and my notes and my books.



Natalie said...

I always hated tests. I am a firm believer in the fact the real world experience and logical papers add up to better understanding than rote memoization for tests. If only more schools thought the same way. I luckily went to a college that did but I won't be as lucky when i go back to school. It is the thing I look forward to the least.

Ontario Emperor said...

Remember that the habits that you are forming now will not (or at least should not) be discarded once you get the degree. The ability to research a topic, form opinions, and cogently argue your view in written and oral form will benefit you in your future endeavors.

Although I must admit that I have never used calculus since 1981 - which is just as well, because I wasn't that good at it.

Mrs. Loquacious said...

Yeah, I know, OE. I have formed these study habits since Day 1, and now it's hard to change them even if I wanted to.

My abilities to do research and opine are in fine form, although perhaps my ability to support my perspective with valid arguments is debatable ;)

And yeah, I don't remember using any calculus or trig in the last decade. I don't even remember how to operate the sine, cosine, and tangent buttons on my calculator anymore!