Friday, September 29, 2006

My Hubbs Has It All Wrong Too

Having read and been inspired by Pagolina's amusing post about the seven things her husband is wrong about, I thought I would also highlight a few things my Hubbs has gotten wrong. Pagolina's hubby responded to her points here, and it was an entertaining read as well. We'll see if Hubbs gets around to tit-for-tatting my well-formed arguments one of these days...

Anyway, here are
a few things that my Hubbs has all got all wrong, too:

a) Make-up: Yes, I *do* in fact look different (and much improved) when this layer of paint is on my face, and just because it isn' t noticeable to someone who regards me through a lens of love does not mean that the rest of the public won't notice my blotchy skin or pimple or pale lips.

b) Hallowe'en Fun Size Chocolate Bars: Buying these will not ruin my diet, because I do in fact have the self-control to eat only one fun size chocolate bar each day, if I so choose. It's just that on most days, I choose to have two, that's all.

c) Dead Sexy, High-Heeled Shoes: Just because I choose to wear high stilettos that give me blisters and impairs my mobility slightly does not mean that I am vain; sometimes, that really is the only pair of shoes I own that goes perfectly with that outfit (plus it does makes me look sexier!). It would be much appreciated if you could just walk a little slower and hold out your arm to keep me balanced, and then I'll be fine.

d) Ne
eding a New Dress: While you as a man can get away with wearing the same suit to several different weddings and just switching ties and shirts for each one, I as a woman cannot do the same. Therefore, a new dress is warranted and necessary for every special or formal occasion that takes place within a season (or 6 months). And don't worry - I will wear that dress again, provided that it still fits a year or two from now.

e) Taking Out the Garbage: Although I am physically capable of doing this chore, it doesn't mean that I am meant to do it since I am pretty sure that you, being taller and stronger, are a better fit for carrying that hefty, long bag of kitchen wastes from the door to the garbage chute across the hall. When I carry the bag, I have to lift my arms to a 90 degree angle to prevent it from dragging on the floor, whereas you do not. This is why taking out the garbage is your chore, not mine!

f) C
elebrity Gossip: Though I realize that this is not quite the same as reading Newsweek or Macleans, it is NOT a waste of my time to read up on celebrity gossip. I can learn all sorts of interesting new things from these sites (like how people can schedule a tummy tuck at the same time that they have their C-sections to deliver their babies, or how methodone is a deadly combination when mixed with anti-depressants), plus I am using my reading abilities and net-surfing skills rather than simply numbing my brain by watching soap operas on daytime television. So, give me a break and let me tell you the latest news on Brad and Angelina, ok?! ;)

g) Apartment Temperatures: It is better to have a cool room than a hot one, because if you are cold you can always put on a sweater. If I am hot even after stripping down my layers of clothing, I cannot remove my skin to get cooler. Therefore, let us keep the A/C on and the fan blowing for as long as we can before the winter hits, at which point I will be forced to turn on the heat.

That's just a sampling of the stuff that Hubbs is misled about. I just don't have the time to post the rest! =P

Thanks Pagolina for letting me rip your idea; it was fun to clear the air! ;)


Wobbly*Bits said...

Hm....not too bad if those are his worst qualities!!

I'm jealous that you're capable of eating just one mini candy bar...I might eat at least 3 at a time.

Mrs. Loquacious said...

I usually have two...separated by an hour and a half (I eat these during class as a way to treat myself for enduring the class).

Those are only some, Wobbly...I just can't name all of them on here or else he'd kill me!

Wobbly*Bits said...

Hah!!! Since my dad has retired my mom has noticed all kinds of new things he does that she can't stand that were hidden by long working hours for 30 years. Poor woman!