Saturday, September 30, 2006

His Mistress

Her name is RUBY, and she is of Japanese origin. She has been in my Hubbs' life for a few months now, gradually occupying more and more of his time and attention. She has taken away my couple time with my man and ruined social commitments that we would otherwise attend. She has occupied his mind by day, kept him up late at night, and infiltrated his dreams.

But as of today, RUBY will be no more. He's going to sever ties with RUBY this morning, after which time I will have my Hubbs back 110%. I know it will be hard for him, since he has invested so much time on RUBY, but I also know that the farewell will be spectacular and a memorable event for those who are on hand to witness this magnanimous kiss-off.


Wait! Before you start thinking that Hubbs is a scummy, two-timing philanderer, however, I should explain that RUBY is not a woman; she is a computer coding language similar to PERL, and the topic of his Edmonton Code Camp presentation today. RUBY was a topic he and his buddy Steven R. chose to present about, even though neither of them worked intimately with RUBY or knew much about it a few months ago.

That was a few months ago. Since their commitment to the presentation, however, the boys have been hard at work getting to know RUBY inside and out. They've poured hours of their time into converting their knowledge into an engaging, dynamic, and informative presentation for the coding community of the area. These last few weeks have been hellish for me, the wife, who has had to endure being put as a second priority to the completion and rehearsal of the presentation.

Well, at long last we're getting rid of RUBY. The guys present this morning at 9:00 a.m., and once the presentation is over, the royal kiss-off will take place and RUBY will be dunzo. Hubbs will be back to his adoring self, and I will be back to being the object of his adoration ;) And perhaps we shall never speak her name, again.

I can hardly wait. Competing with a decades-old computer language isn't fun, especially when your hubby is an intense perfectionistic workaholic who loves challenges and learning boring crap like this. =P

Does anyone else have difficulties with "mistresses" competing with them for their significant other's attention, or is it just me and my crazy coder of a hubby?





17 comments:

The Igloo Coder said...

I hear you Mrs. L. Just so you know your man (loose interpretation of that term ;) has turned his skanky Ruby whore against me! I think you should keep a tighter rein on that man of yours...now he's ruining my life

janeylynne said...

My hubby's mistress is Texas Hold 'Em. He can't get enough of it and wants to constantly play it online. However, that being said, he knows when I'm ready for him to be done with it and logs off accordingly. I just thank the Lord that he doesn't play with real money!

Justice~! said...

Ruby - I love you baby!! Hopefuly one day we can be together, but for now we'll have to be content with skulking around in secret so my wife doesn't find out. I love my wife...but I love you too, just a little less!! Can't I be shared?

Mrs. Loquacious said...

My Hubbs is apparently itching for a beatdown, and he is begging for his RUBY to go up in flames.

(Do you *really* think that is a funny joke/comment, J?)

I am now insisting on the ruby. =P

Mrs. Loquacious said...

Janeylynne: Poker was definitely another distraction in Hubbs life, but a)he doesn't usually play for a bunch of money, and b)he hasn't had time as of late, so this issue has been laid to rest momentarily in our household. Usually poker play is negotiated with rules in advance of it happening.

Igloo C - I hear your pain, buddy. I thought it was a rather cruel joke myself. Good luck with the deletions ;)

Steven R said...

Thank you for letting Justice present with me today! You can have him back now although he is "used".

The only way I am able to code as much as I do at home was to introduce Catherine to World of Warcraft. Don't you have your own mistress?

Mrs. Loquacious said...

You're welcome Steven! He enjoyed it, and judging from how highly and excited he gets when he talks about you, perhaps *you* are going to become his new mistress ;)

I will accept him back even though he has been sullied by RUBY's dirty ways.

And aside from celebrity gossip blog-reading, I actually don't have a mistress. Unless reading counts?

Natalie said...

tony and his iPod are a pair. He will sit in bed with it on, sometimes he keeps it on for hours at a time. The thing is it is also incredibly loud so I can't even get a "hi honey" or "want some dinner" in.

Wobbly*Bits said...

Hah! Yay for being single..or something...Wait a minute...

Catherine_Jane said...

OK - first "just ass" refers to Steve as my husband and now Steve is inferring I have a mistress... When did I get married and decide I was a lesbian anyway???

Mrs. Loquacious said...

Natalie - Hubbs has an MP3 player that also deafens him and makes him oblivious to me. It drives me nuts!

Wobbly - Sometimes it *is* good to be single. Honestly.

CJ - I thought Hubbs made a typo too; I mean, *I* know you guys aren't married yet! However, I think he thinks he was being funny ;) As for your mistress, whichever way your door swings is A-OK missy ;) You don't have to be ashamed of your mistress, WoW! Embrace it and be proud; I know Steve is mighty proud of your gaming ways! =D

Catherine_Jane said...

LOL - I think he's half and half on the gaming. It's all good when he is coding but when he wants attention he doesn't like when the game wins out!

Mrs. Loquacious said...

I know what you mean; Hubbs is entirely intolerant when I interrupt him while he's in the middle of coding, but when *I* am doing anything on my computer he thinks it's perfectly acceptable to interrupt me any time he wants! Double standards suck!

D'Arcy from Winnipeg said...

I thought Justice said Ruby was the name of the hot waitress at Hooters that always serves him and Rockarts when they go on "User Group Nights".

I'm just sayin...

D

Mrs. Loquacious said...

It might be, but no matter - I'm certain she's white, and Hubbs only likes the Asian variety ;)

Justice~! said...

Yeah, that's the big problem with Hooters , or it would be if I was single...*NO ASIANS*. Totally ridiculous. How does that place survive?

Anonymous said...

Go back to your Cee Sharp. Ruby is too good for you, Juiced-Ass.